Have I got hayfever? Or have I got a cold? And how do you tell?

My nose is running - I'm going through a box of tissues a week. Or at least I would be if I had bought any tissues - the paper handtowels from the loo will have to suffice.

My eyes are itchy and scratchy - and if they don't stop it I'm going to knock them out.

Both classic symptoms of hayfever, but I also have a phlegmy cough, so maybe it's a cold? Then again, perhaps I'm coughing because of all the snot running down my windpipe? Mmmm, lovely! Oh, I don't know. I suppose I should get some antihistamines in case. Bloody flowers and trees!