Monday, May 27, 2002

1. You want to eject a CD from your CD drive. You:
(a) press the eject button
(b) hold down the icon in the top right-hand corner of your screen, choose 'Finder' from the drop-down menu, then hold down the icon in the top right-hand corner of your screen, choose 'Hide Others', locate the icon for the CD on your desktop, and drag it into the Trash.

2. You are writing an e-mail, and wish to attach ten files to it. You:
(a) click the 'Attach' icon, locate the appropriate directory, then control-click the ten files.
(b) click the 'Attach' icon, locate the appropriate directory, and select one file, then click the 'Attach' icon, locate the appropriate directory, and select one file, then click the 'Attach' icon, locate the appropriate directory, and select one file, then click the 'Attach' icon, locate the appropriate directory, and select one file, then...

3. The application you are working in crashes or hangs. You:
(a) press ctrl-alt-del and choose what you would like to do from a range of handy options.
(b) press ctrl-opt-cmd-esc and choose from just two options, neither of which is useful.

4. Your machine freezes. You:
(a) press ctrl-alt-del to see which programme is causing trouble, then terminate or unfreeze that application.
(b) curse, swear, kick your computer, then switch it off, losing any unsaved work.

If you answered mostly (a), you are using a PC and probably feel inferior, as you have heard that Macs are so much better, so much more user-friendly.

If you answered mostly (b), you are using a Mac and probably feel superior, as you have spread the myth that Macs are so much better, so much more user-friendly. You smug git.

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