My mother was a breeder. I realise that's a self-evident statement, but let me explain. The woman had a virtual fetish for breeding things - dogs, cats, horses, rabbits, budgies. And kids.

Our house was always full of mewling, growling, screeching animals. And kids. That may explain why I have no interest in owning pets today. Or having kids.

Over the next few days, I'll tell a few stories about some of the animals I remember. I won't tell you about the kids, but here's a delightful pic showing just how angelic the dears can be [no, it's not my brother and sister, just some other random evil children].